amy and heather, thanks for the happy bday comments on my myspace profile page today! i appreciate it! today hasn't been the happiest bday, but it works i guess. i'm just going to have to hold on until i can go to albany next week for my late bday party there and forget the actual day sucked. like, it started i had to work at the picture people 10-2. damn kids! then, i was depressed i have no one to spend today with, so i spent all the bday money i got from family on a new shirt and the 3rd season of titus on dvd, when i really should have saved it to go towards rent or something! then, i went to walmart and had to buy myself a bday cake. how pathetic is that?!?! well, not as pathetic as i felt eating it alone i guess. then, when i got home and got my mail there were 2 things from my bank saying i overdrew on my account by almost $200! they did this to me recently for over $300 even though i went there and went over my checkbook with them for hours into records way back into september and they couldn't find an overdraw! bastards made me pay it all anyway and will probably do it again this time! screw that, i'm gonna have to pay it and get a new bank i guess. why do people always screw me over financially? one right after the other. i don't know how i'm not living in a cardboard box right now to be honest with u!!! then, i got an email from an old friend back home in upstate ny to brag about her boyfriend. why must i be alone all the time? i haven't had a boyfriend since just before hallmark started! what's so bad about me that i don't deserve a boyfriend?!?! i mean, i know i've gained a few pounds i wish i hadn't and have out of control hair and stuff, but damn, i've seen uglier with boyfriends! what's my deal?!?!?
so, today's my 21st bday. i'm without friends to drink with or to hang out with even. what a day. oh what a life.

posted by: Not_Douche at 00:20 | link | comments |

i'm always exhausted lately. i even slept in today (had all of today off! felt so nice doing nothing and having nothing i had to do!!!!)! but i don't understand it! i'm always tired no matter what i do! even if i go to bed early wake up late like i was able to finally do today. it's weird. i don't know if it's my body reacting to my stess or if i'm just so over-worked i'll never be able to make myself feel right again. i hate my jobs and even with working my ass off constantly at both, i don't even make enough money to pay all my bills and rent and find money left over to spend on food and, heaven forbid, fun! what a life i lead lately. can i even call this a life?

posted by: Not_Douche at 00:15 | link | comments (2) |

so, the last couple weeks straight i've been working 10am-10pm between the hours from both my jobs with usually only a half hour in between for me to get from one to the other! it's killing me! i had all yesterday and today off that i'd requested cause jay and his friend mark and i were supposed to be going to a trivium concert last night (but that fell through cause jay waited too long to get the tickets and it was all sold out). that's ok cause just being lazy the last couple of days has been completely fine with me! i'm loving it and it's going by way too fast! wish i would have got my ass in gear and got a lot more accomplished that i need to, but oh well! screw it! i don't feel like doing anything! definitely don't feel like starting working the crazy schedule all over again tomorrow morning like i have to! if only i had my own pet photography studio already...i've been asked to do a lot of weddings recently that i agreed to, but have been thinking on and am going to decline doing after all. i hate doing them and it's not what i want to do! it's just more stress than i need added on to the load of stress i already have to deal with all the time! well, i'm off to read or something. i only have an afternoon left of freedom already till who knows when and i want to enjoy every second of it!

posted by: Not_Douche at 21:10 | link | comments |

that tag thing looks pretty fun! so i have to write the same stuff huh? ok, here goes:

Four Jobs I've Had:
burton snowboards warehouse
kmart
photographer at the grenier's school portraits
pet photographer at pet one photo

Four Movies I'd Watch Over and Over:
back to the future trilogy
the crow
the little mermaid
any and every johnny depp movie

Four Places I've Lived:
Mooers, NY
Greenfield, MA
Petersburg, VA
Dover, DE

Four TV Shows I love:
The Gilmore Girls
America's Next Top Model
How Do I look?
Alias

Four Places I've Vacationed:
Waterford, NY
ummm, that's it i guess. don't get to vacation much, sadly enough.

Four Favorite Dishes:
turkey breast sub from subway
special k fruit and yogurt cereal
onion rings
chicken and stars soup

Four Sites I Visit Daily:
motime
yahoo mail
ebay
homestar runner

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
pet photography studio i want to own one day
Australia
Hallmark Institute of Photography/ Greenfield, MA
movie theater seeing Brokeback Mountain

Four Bloggers I'm Tagging:
hmmm, with heather and amy already tagged,
no one else really reads my blog.
lets just say i'll tag shenna,
corey, justin, and jay.


hope u enjoyed my answers to the questions i was tagged to answer! :-D i have it all centered and spaced out nicely where i'm writing it, so i hope it stays that way when i post it, but it seems to not stay that nice anymore for some reason. so, hopefully this looks ok posted! also hope the people i said i tagged to do this too actually see this on my blog and do it!
anyway, goodnight everyone!
p.s. heather, sorry i missed your call today! my hours have been so crazy lately with my two jobs again it feels like i have christmas hours again!!! i seem to have all of sunday off, though! so, definitely give me a call then if u get a chance that day! i miss ya!

posted by: Not_Douche at 06:05 | link | comments (1) |

having an ok day, i guess. today is a full day off for me again. last one i know of for a couple weeks at least. yuckiness! think i'm going to treat myself to seeing brokeback mountain in the theaters this afternoon. finally! i've been waiting to see that movie since i heard about it forever ago!!! took this pic of one of my hampsters today for fun. was going to try redoing the cup pic using improving comments heather put on the critique blog, but changed my mind the last second! i'm definitely going to go and do it again with your suggestions though, cause i think they seem to be just what that photo needs! so, here's the valentine pic, the fake bear seems so happy to be letting my hampster out of the heart box! doesn't it look like the bear is grinning? :-D

posted by: Not_Douche at 19:14 | link | comments (8) |

Template by motime.com  |  header image credit: Markus Gann © www.begann.de